Captain’s Log Day 180, Love Me Some Rolls

A few moments ago, I got out of the shower and got dressed, ready to tackle the grocery store. I slipped on my jeans and then my t-shirt. I looked at myself in the mirror and saw something that made me instantly say, “Ugh.” It was me. I was looking at me. I was looking at the fat rolls this wonderfully thin t-shirt was showing off. And by showing off, each individual roll. Back fat and all.

I walked over to my dresser and pulled out a larger, heavier weight t-shirt, and slipped it on. Yeah, it covered everything, but I instantly broke out into a sweat. I stood there, staring at myself, thinking, “But it hides everything.”

But it hides everything. WHY SHOULD I HAVE TO HIDE THINGS?! FUCK. THIS. I tore off the heavier t-shirt and slipped on the original, thin shirt. Fuck anyone who silently judges me and my body. I’m working on getting back in shape. I’m working on  getting back to eating healthier, cutting back and eating cupcakes in moderation.

If my rolls decrease, great. If they don’t, fine.  I looked at my rolls, my round curves and thought, “These rolls aren’t here because I’m lazy. These rolls aren’t here because I don’t work out, because I do. These rolls are here because they are apart of me. They do not define me, but they are apart of me and I can either love them or hate them. But if I hate, them, I’m hating myself.”

I chose self love. I chose to love me some rolls. And 5K’s. And cupcakes. And circuit training. And cheese. Oh God, do I love cheese.

#fitgirls #iamtherevolution #ilovecheese

rolls

 

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Captain’s Log, Day 143: Back On Course

It seems, dear reader, I went off course and found myself floating in uncharted waters of too many calories and not enough exercise. But that’s okay. We aren’t perfect. Shit happens. Life gets in the way. We lose track. But the important thing is – we get back on track. We find our way again.

And so here I am, new compass in hand and get back on course.

Back in March, I stumbled upon this awesome challenge, the 28 Day Jumpstart, by Fitgirls. I watched as months rolled by looking at these amazing before and after pics and I kept thinking, that used to be me. I used to be in such amazing shape. I should do this. I should do this. April: I should do this. May began. I should do this. I should do this… Next challenge, May 23. Fuck it. I gotta do this.

Why? Well for starters, I’m cheap. I have all these amazing clothes I had from the first time I lost a lot of weight and they don’t fit any more. I’m too cheap to buy new ones. Secondly, I’ve discussed this: ZOMBIES. I refuse to be the slow ass person that becomes a zombie happy meal because I can’t outrun the walking dead.

So no more diet. No more denial. Just me, my lifestyle change, some pizza, a few glasses of wine, and about a gazillion other #fitgirls. Let’s do this shit.

Before

#squadgoals #28DayJumpstart

Captain’s Log, Day 49

Still can’t walk up and down stairs.

Captain’s Log Day 48 – Ow. Ow. Ow.

I.

Can’t.

Walk.

Up (or down).

Stairs.

 

Captain’s Log, Day 47: Nope.

You gotta do cross training, they said.

It’s good for your run, they said.

You’ll grow stronger, they said.

Fuck. That.

15 minutes in to the video I have no idea what happened – a total and complete loss of time. The next thing I remember was Bob saying, “you deserve this stretch”

Stretch? STRETCH?! MOTHER FUCKER, I’M PRETTY SURE I JUST BLACKED OUT AND YOU THINK I DESERVE A STRETCH?! No, what I deserve is a goddamned drink laced with laudanum.

I cannot feel my legs.

IMG_1202See this? This is what I deserve. Not a fucking stretch. (I did stretch because it felt good. So do brownies. And cheese. And booze.)

Captain’s Log, Day 42

Day by day. Step by step. Slowly but surely, I’m doing it.

Two miles today means 13 miles in May.

Can I have some chocolate now?

Captain’s Log, Day 41 – I Can’t Feel My Toes

The next time I decide to train for a long distance challenge, I’m going to make sure the majority of my training time is in the summer, not the dead of winter. I can’t feel my damn toes.

 

Captain’s Log, Day 32 – I Got This

After three weeks with The Illness from Hell, I started back up on my training regimen. I have the lung capacity of an asthmatic fat kid, but hey – I gotta start back up somewhere.

So when my alarm went off at 5:40, away I went. Surprisingly, I did pretty well. I wasn’t too out of breath and aside from blowing my nose every 10 seconds, I survived.

In the past, I’d have let a delay like this ruin me. I’d allow for self sabotage and just give up. Nope. So I’m three weeks behind. Could I really help that? Nope. Even the healthiest immune systems among us have to take a day off.

Besides – this is my first half marathon. My goal is for me to complete it. So if I complete it by intervals of running and walking – so be it. The point is, I have a goal and I’m setting forth to accomplish it.

And the best thing? My running buddy is supper awesome and supportive. My running pals are supper awesome and supportive. And the running community is super awesome and supportive. Taking the time out to train and complete any sort of long distance race isn’t easy. Everyone recognizes it and cheers on EVERYONE.

I got this.

 

Captain’s Log, Day 11 – Well I’ll Be Damned

Cold? What cold. Ear infection? Well that would explain while the room is spinning.

Seriously –

Last week I ran 1 mile in 16 something something.

Today was 1 mile in 14 something something.

How I’m going to manage 13.1 of those, I haven’t a clue.

But it’s the journey and as long as I complete it, I win right? I win.

MMMMMM-doughnuts.

Captain’s Log, Day 2 – Rest Day

What?! I get a rest day after my first day of training?! Sold.
Yeah, I can do this.

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